#26: Courtney Smith, Type 6 — Outsourcing Agency, the Call to Self-Responsibility, Playfulness

Courtney Smith [SO/SP 6w5 631] is a brilliant & original Enneagram thinker who has contributed hugely to our understanding of Object Relations. In this conversation, we explore her life as a 6 navigating her desire to work within systems and to rebel against them, and ultimately cultivating a more grounded relationship to her inner authority. Courtney's insights are illuminating and penetrating as always.

Courtney's Website: courtneysmithconsulting.com

YouTube Version of Interview: https://youtu.be/FQ418io7E7A

https://www.theenneagramschool.com/

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

3:15 Interview Start & Josh's messy hair

4:30 Setting up Courtney's biography

5:36 Do you hold a sense of your life story as a 6?

6:53 Professional trajectory as the way in; family all doctors & lawyers roles, safe, traditional

8:22 Law school, annoying incongruence, "It'd be easier if I liked this!"

9:23 Gender & Enneagram lens in college, split & trying to integrate analytical & quantitative, only-women-in-math-class and no-men-in-women's-studies; what's my place?

10:30 8 yrs old, "Mom, I'm not gonna stay here" -- wanting out, but not knowing "What do you want to go toward?"

13:20 Courtney's choice of major and minor mathematical economics & women's studies, navigating polarities; qualitative/quantitative, men/women

17:20 "Trying to have it both ways": high achieving within a system & rebelling against the system

20:23 At McKinsey, working super hard, doing what I'm "supposed to do," and disagreeing with it all

25:44 "If it's listened to..."; 6s feeling a lack of agency to shape reality, not willing to risk external authority's alliance; "There's nothing I can do about this. I have no choice."

31:16 Josh's 6 fix relating

33:52 Considered med school, then had baby - focus on reproductive justice, planned parenthood

36:09 focusing only on family was a "bad choice for me" -- left behind key aspects of self

38:33 Self-abandonment: Not taking responsibility for poor choices; "I had no choice!"; none of the credit, none of the blame

43:12 Shift of personal development work, conscious leadership group; "I have to take responsibility" for where I am

46:19 Before and after inner work; changed my life, but "your shit is your shit," esp in "real life" raising kids, home during covid, etc -- you get a new relationship to your patterns

52:11 Relationship now to public health, new life as coach

54:11 New relationship to the inner storm, reactivity; part of me watching myself have a tantrum, not taking it too seriously

57:39 Courtney's playfulness 1:00:30 6s & body work; getting lost in idea-space and finding the inner compass somatically; "Truth lies in the body"

1:07:47 Compulsive reading; skepticism: "I wanna check this out for myself," check people's sources, put the picture together from the ground up

1:11:32 6's devotional heart, contributing to greater whole

1:13:34 On working alone; not questioning life path any more, but still micro-questions about form of current work

1:16:37 Courtney the dragon; being myself the biggest gift I can give

1:20:37 Safari experience: "What you're transmitting is amazing and has nothing to do with your words"; Ian McGilchrist book, left-right brain language - non-language communication

1:28:00 What's this been like?

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Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay

Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/

Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

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