#22: Sarah Round 2 MetaConvo – Attachment Games, Rupture & Repair Cycles, and Realtime Conversation Dynamics [SO/SP 9w1 937]

Round 2 with Sarah [SO/SP 9w1 937]. A conversation ABOUT our last conversation, and a very personal look at both of our attachment games. I loved this.

Josh's Links:
www.theenneagramschool.com
www.joshlavine.com

Sarah's Links:
Music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0ttrZbIpLCXW7hjanhv7H8
Music: https://slagoona.bandcamp.com/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3x6KJ6TppG3LC9ySqFDLOs
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/slagoona_/

Watch on YouTube: 
https://youtu.be/vaZ95yqyUSg

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

3:29 Setting up the convo -- why we're here

7:56 First clip

9:53 Sarah pauses. "Floating on the river of meaning" swirling & managing the swirls

15:36 Second clip

16:45 Josh pauses. The moment I almost interrupted, and Sarah feels it.

17:38 More clip

20:16 Sarah pauses. Sarah's SO/SP "preachiness," desire to embrace universal themes

23:27 Sarah: "I kept going because I wasn't sure if you agreed with me"

25:54 "It's all good babe just hold on!"

27:11 The need to have all parts of me known and held (9)

29:48 More clip -- The Shift moment 31:13 Josh pauses. His skepticism that Sarah was connected to herself

33:22 Sarah: the insecurity around being perceived as insincere; calling out 9 dispersion

34:59 SO 9 desperation for social holding; Schema: want social holding -- don't get it -- disperse & numb -- harder to feel if/when I get held now

40:58 You want holding from me, but also you're angry with me -- Attachment games

44:59 Sarah getting social holding back by playing into my frame, "impressing me"

48:54 More clip -- Sarah: "I felt like I was being called a phony"

50:18 More clip -- Josh's "unskillful question"

54:20 Josh takes a breath -- his attachment pattern alive right now

59:09 More clip: "I'm saying what I think you want me to say"

1:00:28 Sarah's desire for more bobble-headedness (familiar social holding); Josh's reflex to self-recrimination when I made someone angry, "what could I have done better?" -- that question being self-abandoning in service of re-attachment strategy!; Josh's version of sarah's "cozying up"

1:06:00 The last 3 min; "I feel like I passed your test"

1:09:27 Attachment 101: Rupture and Repair Cycles; Complexity around Sincerity

1:11:12 Final moments of the interview & the necessity of *this* conversation to complete the repair

1:15:51 What is trust?

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Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay

Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/

Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

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