Reach Out

#18: Nancy Walter, Type 3 – Being Good at Things, Identity Experiments, and Choosing to Live [SP/SO 3w4 369]

TRIGGER WARNING: sensitive content. Nancy Walter (SP/SO 3w4 369) is a co-host on the Big Hormone Enneagram podcast and is currently navigating graduate school in genetics. In this extremely candid interview, we talk about Nancy's childhood, wrestling with severe depression and mental health issues (possibly undiagnosed autism, according to her), her self-discovery through competence in knife salesmanship and sugaring, and the road trip that cemented her choice to live. Enjoy! 

YouTube version of Interview:


0:00 Intro 

3:51 Interview Start -- Childhood depression, mental health, and the road trip that changed everything 

7:18 Putting on a show" for my therapist at 15 yrs old; fooling the therapist 

14:18 The Road Trip & 3-ness - poetic, redemptive, rejuvenating; being by yourself, outside others' expectations 

16:44 When the fog began to lift, and I began to "choose to be here" 

19:18 Selling cutting knives and going "full 3", then getting sick & having to quit 

22:54 New desk job at gun store 

24:42 Selling knives giving Nancy a chance to feel good at something; contrasting Josh's 3 story with Nancy's; Nancy's mental health condition delaying her 3-ness 

27:27 Quitting selling knives -- framed as an act of self-care, rebellion against sexist workplace, "I wanna do something I wanna do." 

32:47 Sugaring and 3-ness; being good at making old white men like me & pay me; becoming another person for 4 hours, then going home -- in an empowering way 

39:12 The joy of "identity experiments"; self-discovery in sugaring 

43:45 On how important it is for 3s to feel good at something 

46:48 Grief on the road trip; SP looking for home, leading back to yourself; 3s need to find themselves alone in their silence 

50:56 Discovering authentic self through performative relationship; following your nose about what I'm good at 

55:38 Josh's bermuda questions 

58:14 Choosing life path after the road trip? discovering I want to go to school, despite "I don't need school!" 3 persona/image.

1:03:34 Reconstituting identity to "fit this in" -- wanting to go to school 

1:05:23 Practicals of going back to school; discovering I love science, want to study genetics 

1:10:52 Living from "I like this!" instead of "I'm good at this" now 

1:13:05 Now back in Virginia; "Fix first, then mourn"  

1:14:53 What's this been like for you?  


Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay




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