Charles on Being a Social 9w8: Resensitizing After 20 Numb Years, the Goldilocks Zone, and Being “Cool” Not Meticulous [SO/SP 9w8 963]
Charles is a 42 year old father of four that's been married for more than half his life. He’s started multiple businesses and currently runs a small internet marketing and web agency. He self-describes as a “body type that speaks from the gut while trying to make social connections.”
In this interview, we explore what his 8 “rejection” wing does to his core 9 attachment, his meandering, relaxed conversational style, and what it was like to realize that he’s been operating on autopilot for over 20 years. (!!) We also explore his striking tattoos, the enlivening physicality of getting them, and the way they help him declare his location amidst the murky, triple attachment 9-land. An honest and open glimpse into the inner world of a 9w8.
Note: there was an internet issue during recording, so Charles accidentally spoke over me a few times that I tried to ask a question. He wanted to note that he's not that obtuse :) -- he just couldn't hear.
0:41 Plugs: Enneagram School & Expression Library
1:50 Intro to Charles; SO/SP 9w8 963
3:27 Interview Start
5:15 Charles' recent "resensitization" transformation; not crying for 20 years; autopilot
10:28 Josh's question and Charles' "off-road" response
12:33 Coming back to life; what's happened recently, resensitization; from numb to being flooded with emotions, randomly
17:29 Decades of putting myself aside, fulfilling "roles," being in the groove; setting up projections onto other people, resentments about pressure
22:59 The numb state; not noticing butterflies in my stomach; "shutting off"
27:39 What would other people notice if you're numb?
28:29 Feelings being too much for me; even good feelings; seeking the goldilocks state
32:09 Comparing 8, 9, 1's relationship to numbing
33:31 Tattoo's! -- locating myself & my positions, socially abrasive to my conservative neighborhood
39:03 The physical nature of getting tattoos; sensory awakening, un-numbing, bringing me back to life; some pain as "good" feeling
41:58 Using sense of smell more
43:37 Relationship with anger
48:19 Exploring the volume of Charles' voice
49:49 The meandering conversational style; outer swirling mimics inner swirling
54:17 Are you motivated to be more "focused" in your speaking?
58:44 A la David Gray: 8 wing giving 9 permission to be as 9 as it wants to be
1:02:56 What's this been like for you?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
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