Reach Out

#14: Jamie Eichar, Type 9 – Being a Comforting Presence, Making Space For Yourself in Conversations, and Rebelling Against Pressure [SP/SO 9w1 963]

Jamie (SP/SO 9w1 963) is an gifted cinematographer, an aspiring therapist, and a good friend that I met in my first Enneagram class. He has committed to his inner work in extremely courageous ways and has great language for the inner experience of 9-ness, especially what it's like to "numb out," to drift into invisibility, and to speak up for himself in relationships. This is a great, user friendly introduction to 9ness. Enjoy.

Jamie's website:

My website:



0:00 Intro

2:52 Easing into the interview

4:19 Enneagram origin story; the comfort of discovering my type; "felt like a blanket"

8:42 Feeling left behind wanting to be noticed, “nobody special”

11:54 "why aren't people asking me questions?" -- being in this interview now. "I'm talking a lot right now"; wanting attention and being terrified of it

14:28 Anger & “It’d be nice if people asked me questions.”

21:21 Being a nice guy, being a comforting presence, someone you trust; my “power” as a 9, when people feel like they can talk to me

25:34 People open up to me, but sometimes steamroll me; My trouble knowing what I have to say

29:35 the difficulty of Interrupting people; Conversational dynamics with 9s; 9s discovering their preferences by waiting

33:48 Speaking up; Taking responsibility to make the conversation safe for me

38:14 What fitness does for Jamie, 9s in the body center, susceptible to numbness, forgetting about the body, then “feeling” anger more

40:52 Numbness, avoiding problems, “forgetting I exist,” “I become the ipad”; YouTube Rabbit Holes; the rhythm of cycling through apps

47:09 Rebelling against "What I need to do"; sensitivity to pressure; difficulty of getting started

52:21 What gets you going?; hitting plateaus; creative inspiration

56:52 Empathy “out of my control” - merging, “getting caught up” in other’s emotions and what it means to have emotional boundaries; the complicated “niceness” of getting lost in an experience

1:02:03 On Commitment to practices, etc

1:04:43 Blending in vs standing out; "What's it like to own your coolness?"

1:08:22 What's this been like for you?


Music by Coma-Media from

Pixabay Coma-Media:



#enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram9 #enneagramtype9 #enneagraminterview