Gray Cietek on Being an SO 3: Socially Tracking Others, Truly "Seeing" Others, and the Heart's Silent Communication Underneath Words (SO/SP 3w4 368)
Gray and I have similar typing, and in this episode we explore what social 3 is "really wanting," underneath the stereotypical social 3's polish and comportment. This conversation gets to the heart of the Social 3 in a way that meant a lot to me personally. Enjoy.
Gray's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AugmentedPersonality
My website: https://www.joshlavine.com/
YouTube version: https://youtu.be/omMHtMOdB0g
3:05 Dropping in as social 3s; "camera on!" "I want to be real, but that doesn't mean my brain agrees that that's safe"; comfort in the metaconversation
6:22 Enneagram origin story; "essence" orientation & you're doing your type every 5 seconds; "I have to be an emblem of value"
13:07 3 going to 6; Sense of responsibility to bring this knowledge into the world; Surrendering your sword to something higher..
21:29 Triple-reactive adjacent 3 -- romanticizing my reactivity to make it an image I want to have, to give myself permission to be that way
30:57 Tracking other people
34:09 Gray's 6-fix inner ping pong ball, saying something and then reacting to what she just said, without prompting
36:14 9-fix vs 8-fix experience of social "vibe"; how secondary 6-fix supports Gray's "tracking"
44:40 Awareness of eyes on you; 8th grade performance story
50:15 Heart center & the gaze; when we're looking from behind our eyes at each other, all of a sudden, here we are together
52:56 What the social 3 is *really* wanting (!) beyond the song and dance (which is a bid for this)
56:45 Grief that the world is so dry of heart; frustration in the heart space
1:03:34 The "role and purpose of 3," according to Gray; seeing people accurately
1:09:55 Seeing & admiring preciousness; yet resisting "going there" with people
1:14:33 3's need for psychological safety as a precondition to show up -- and the growth for 3s to be authentic to BRING ABOUT psychological safety; risking being missed (the initial miss, to happen again)
1:21:12 What's this been like for you?
Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay
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